


The Origins of World War One

by chowmeinwriter



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Historical, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, History, Multi, World War, World War I, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chowmeinwriter/pseuds/chowmeinwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine if the World War of 1914-1918 all originated from one town. One school. Some kids. A few quabbles. </p><p>Some people say that the First World War came about through Militarism, Imperialism, Nationalism and the Alliance System.<br/>I say it came from all the countries behaving as if they're acting in an EastEnders episode.</p><p>So far: France gets annoyed at Russia's constant appraisal of the more slutty girls in their school and tries to prove to him and to Britain too, that personality can get you just as far as looks can. Unfortunately, the guy she picks to prove her hypothesis on is Morocco, a guy who Germany has intentions to keep as an independance country- tied to noone. </p><p>(This is basically my method of revising for my History GCSE Exam in May)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Origins of World War One

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WHOLE THING IS IN RHYME SO DON'T READ IT AS A NORMAL STORY, BUT AS A RAP OR POEM.

Russia: Dang, Britain, don’t you think that Serbia’s fit?

Britain: She’s got a boyfriend.

Russia: I know, I know but it’s impossible not to admit-

France: How is she even attractive?

Russia: I’d say that it helps; her wearing slutty outfits-

France: Russia!

Britain: Dude!

Russia: Alright! Alright! Geez, calm ya tits…

France: Personality surely counts for more than looks anyway

Russia: Only ugly people say that

Britain: Sure France, I mean, I’d go for personality almost any-day-

France: Almost any-day?

Russia: Almost! Haha! Eyyyyyyy!

Britain: It is possible though, to be a flirt without looks…

France: Yes!

Russia: Is that how Belgium hooked you in 1839?

Britain: … Ooh, you jerk.

France: Russia, look I’ll prove it. I’ll prove that uglies can flirt

Britain: I don’t think you’re ugly

Russia: I do. Ooh sorry that must’ve hurt.

Britain: Jerk!

Russia: France, see Morocco there, standing on his larry? Ha! Go, go and convince him then to be your sugar-daddy-

France: I said flirt! Flirt, not full bloody intercourse!

Russia: One leads to the other, so why not?

Britain: Russia…

Russia: Oh yeah, that’s why, of course.

France: Eh?

Britain: Don’t worry. I thought you were going…?

France: I was… Hey, Morocco!

Britain: Oh hell no! I don’t like this-

France: Hey, Morocco-

Russia: Bonjour to the new French hoe!

France: … Oh hey Morocco

 

 

Germany: France, oy you boulangerie bitch. What you up to with Morocco, you fromage twit.

France: Back off G, we don’t want you around.

Germany: Hey Morocco, I hope you ain’t let your… guard down.

Morocco: What?

Germany: We all know that France is part of the Triple Entente

Morocco: Yeah

Germany: We all know for Britain, she ain’t nonchalant

France: Bullshit

Morocco: I-

Germany: Morocco, mate, look you don’t deserve this. Don’t be tempted by the siren’s French kiss.

Morocco: Wh-

France: Morocco, Morocco, hey just listen to me. Germany, he’s just jealous of you and me. He also don’t like Britain, it’s an old rivalry, see?

Germany: Please

France: I heard it was something to do with your tiny fleet

Germany: … What a massive pile of sheet.

France: Ooh, you’re saying your fleet could compete?

Germany: You want to test me out under bed sheets?

France: Ew!

Morocco: No!

Germany: Suit yourself France. Morocco, come on, let’s go.

Morocco: No.

Germany: You must have better things to do than entertain this hoe.

France: Huh, it’s funny how easy it is to earn that title.

Germany: I give up! I’m leaving! Just remember- independence is vital.

Morocco: Independence is vital.

Germany: Independence is vital.

France: Where were we? Oh yes, my recital-

Morocco: Independence is vital.

France: What?

Morocco: Independence is vital.

France: No, no, Morocco, er, dependence is vital.

Morocco: Independent dependence?

France: No, dependant independence.

Morocco: Depend-

France: Depend on me.

Morocco: Wait wh-

France: Depend on me.

Morocco: Oh oka-

France: Depend on me.

Morocco: Depend… on you.

France: Yes.

 

 

Russia: Bloody hell she did it. Even with Germany and all. Eyy Germany looks like a right twat.

Britain: Yeah… I… I guess he does.

**Author's Note:**

> If you were wondering
> 
> Triple Entente = An trio of agreements made between Britain, France and Russia that would unite them if war came about.
> 
> 'Is that how Belgium hooked you in 1839?' = Treaty of London 1839 (nicknamed the 'Scrap of Paper') ensured that Britain would protect Belgium independence if it was ever threatened
> 
> 'Independance is vital' section = The build up to Algeciras Conference in 1905. France tries to take over Morocco but the German Kaiser gives a speech about independence, causing the Moroccans to stand up for themselves.
> 
> 'Germany looks like a right twat' = The Algeciras Conference 1905 overrules the Moroccan rebellion and awards France Morocco's banks and police force, and awards Germany some swampland in Congo- Germany is humiliated by their failure to keep Morocco independent.


End file.
